Black Princesses, Crow's Wings, and Heroes' Broken Dreams Chapter Six

Title: Dark Princesses, Crow’s Wings and Hero’s Broken Dreams
Chapter: Six, Interlude: The Fall of Emiya Shirou
Rating: Mature for sex, violence and other lovelies. (Oh, yes, there is SEX of epic proportions in this story.)
Spoilers:Fate Route for FSN, slight hints from Ultimate Blade Works, and Tsukhime
Parings: FINALLY, Rin/Archer all the way!
Summary: The road to becoming a true magus is never easy, especially when one’s learning at the Mage’s Association Clock Tower in London. However, things are going to get a lot worse for one Tohsaka Rin when the Black Princess of the Dead Apostles decides to up her sibling rivalry to get the White Princess of the True Ancestors’ attention. She’ll go to any lengths to do so, including bringing the Mage’s Association to their knees.
Notes: Special thanks to Yuurei-san for listen to me ramble! Also, heavy angst in this chapter.



Chapter Six
Interlude: Fall of Emiya Shirou


Green eyes blinked slowly before widening. The holy sword trembled in those small, now bare hands as those wide, pure emerald green fixed upon him. The slight figure sank to her knees, her blonde hair hanging in her angelic face before looking up at him again. Her features hardened as she glared at him.

Then she proceeded to shimmer into stardust and golden light only to be wiped out of this existence.

Her last words where, “I am still bound . . .”

Emiya Shirou woke up covered in sweat despite lying on cold concrete. He pushed himself into a sitting position and ran his fingers through his hair, causing it to stand on end. Nausea coiled in the pit of his stomach as he sat up. He looked around shed at the myriad of tiny steel colored dolls he’d made in the last few days as well as the oddly gorgeous sword poking up here and there.

“Guess I should go and cook breakfast for Fuji-nee, Sab . . .” Shirou’s vocal train of thought trailed off as he pressed his palms to his eyes. His chest constricted, his lungs burned, his head started to pound as his eyes stung. He bowed his head as the sob tore itself from his body.

I failed her. I failed her. I failed her . . .

“Oni-chan?”

Shirou looked up to see the slight, white haired figure in front of him. Ruby eyes peered down at him as the delicate form took a tiny, dance like step on purple boots towards him. She canted her head and held out her hand with a tiny sad smile.

“Gonna come make us breakfast, Oni-chan? Tiger’s getting really nasty,” the girl said in her sweet, sing-song lyrical voice with its odd accent. Illyasviel von Einzbern, Ilya to her friends, kept her hand reached out to Shirou. Shirou lunged out and hugged her, pulling the smaller girl close.

“I failed her, Ilya,” he confessed as he parted and stood up. He took the girl’s cool hand within his own and gave it a tiny squeeze.

Ilya peered up at him and tilted her head. She replied, “It wasn’t your place to save her, Oni-chan, but yet you’re going to beat yourself up over it.”

“You weren’t there, Ilya, she looked so . . . broken,” Shirou sighed as he ran his hand through his hair again.

Ilya swung his arm back and forth and mused, “You keep doing that and it’ll stand on end, Oni-chan. But you know the Grail wasn’t what it was supposed to be.”

“Still, she deserved her wish,” Shirou replied as they entered the house together.

Ilya asked, “And what about you, Oni-chan, what would you have wished for?”

“Easy, the ability to save everyone where Dad couldn’t,” Shirou answered, “To protect everyone and keep them happy of course. What about you Ilya?”

She bit her lip and answered, “I would have asked to see Father once again.”

He hugged her and said, “He would have been proud of you, Ilya.”

“Really, Oni-chan?” Ilya asked with a smile that eased some of the load off of Shirou’s shoulders.

He swung her hand and replied, “Of course, you’re pretty and smart . . . who wouldn’t be proud to have a snow fairy as a daughter?” He leaned over and tapped her nose. “Or a little sister.”

“Ilya’s glad that Oni-chan’s letting her stay here,” Ilya stated, “But I’d be even happier if Oni-chan actually cooked some breakfast.”

Shirou laughed and patted her hair before heading into the kitchen. He grinned at her and replied, “Of course.”

Dad always said you couldn’t save everyone, but . . . I’m going to try. Not just for my sake, for my little sister’s as well.

******

Brewing tea was something that required vast amounts of patience and time. One had to make sure the right parts of the leaves were used, not to scorch said leaves, and make sure the water wasn’t over boiled. Shirou sighed as he placed the teapot, a single tea cup and saucer, and breakfast of simple toast with strawberry jelly on a tray. Balancing the tray with one hand and his hip, he turned on the heat on the way to Tohsaka Rin’s bedroom.

Navigating the steps through the empty, yet well lit house Shirou expected to hear the coarse voice of Rin’s man hating female Archer Servant taunt him each step. However, the only sounds that Shirou could disconcert where his breathing, the soft creaking of his feet against hardwood, and the occasional bell like chime of silverware hitting porcelain. He frowned at the utter quietness of the place as he realized that Rin had lived here, by herself, for the last ten years.

At least I always had Fuji-nee and recently Sakura to visit me, he thought as he came across her bedroom. He gently opened the door and gazed into the dimly lit room. His heart picked up at the sight of Tohsaka Rin’s wavy, black hair peeking up through a nest of blankets as he walked in. He flexed his fingers on the tray and called out, “Tohsaka?”

The figure under the blankets made some horrible moaning sound before shifting and stirring slightly. Frowning, Shirou set the tray down on Rin’s old fashioned, Western style vanity before moving to her bed. A delicate, long fingered hand with yellow flannel falling on it poked out of the blanket. Shirou studied the graceful hand for a moment and frowned at the cracked nails the normally manicured hand supported. His fists curled at his side as he saw red for a moment again.

He’d been seeing red a lot during the Grail War. Well, Issei always said I had a temper, he thought dryly as he studied Tohsaka Rin’s sleeping form. He had the urge to stroke her hair, but quelled that at remembering the other magus’ temper and her ability to throw curses almost at random. Heart racing, he called out again, “Tohsaka?”

“Go away,” was the hoarse grumble from under the heavy comforters.

Shirou leaned forward and said, “Tohsaka, its Emiya.”

“Shirou?” the sleep hoarse female voice whispered as the small lump under the blankets stirred. They were shoved back and the tiny, raven haired form pushed herself upright. He almost smiled at how rumpled her hair looked, strands of it sticking up out of her head and others pressed in odd tangles against it. He frowned at the dark shadows under her aquamarine eyes that blinked owlishly at him.

Shirou smiled and said, “Hey, Tohsaka, how are you?”

“I just woke up, don’t expect me to be cognitive this early in the morning. You know I’m not a morning person,” she mumbled before throwing her arms up and yawning.

He did smile at that, but looked away as the yellow fabric tightened over her chest as his cheeks flamed. He pointed absently to the vanity and said, “I made you some breakfast.”

“I hope it’s something light, I feel nauseous and I don’t know why,” she muttered as her hands pressed against her stomach.

Shirou chuckled as he walked over and poured her the cup of tea. He teased, “You’re really not a morning person if you can’t remember what happened.”

Those jewel bright eyes of hers widened before her mouth dropped open ever so slightly as she stared at him. She absently rubbed her stomach before exclaiming, “You won! An armature magus won the Grail War!” Then she began to chuckle before wincing and pressing her hand to her stomach. “And please tell me that Gilgamesh died horribly . . .”

Shirou looked away as he stirred the tea absently with a spoon and placed it on the saucer. He turned around and walked it over to her. Rin frowned as she took the tea and looked up at him. “What happened? Didn’t you get your wish?” she demanded.

“The Grail was corrupted, Rin,” Shirou stated before looking down at her comforters, which, were a deep, earthy red that fit her perfectly.

Rin sipped her tea and made a tiny face before sticking her tongue out. “Shirou, you need to learn how to brew tea. Next time you want to brew me a pot of tea, ask me first so you don’t waist my good leaves,” she chided before looking back at him, “But what do you mean corrupted?”

He ran his hand through his hair, tugging up the red strands slightly as he thought. He tilted his head and answered, “It’s kinda hard to explain, Tohsaka.”

“Try me,” Rin replied with arched eyebrows, “I’m sure with the information you give me, I’ll put it in a way that you’ll be able to understand it as well.”

Shirou sighed and walked back to the vanity to grab the tray. He walked it back to Rin and asked, “Do you know who Angra Mainyu is?”

“Vaguely, something about all the evil in the world going into one person or god type being,” she answered with a nod.

Shirou nodded as he leaned against Rin’s dresser and explained, “Yeah, and his spirit was trapped inside the Grail, which made this Curse that somehow gave Gilgamesh a real body, but even made him evil, and Kotomine was wanting to let the curse out upon the world.”

His eyes narrowed as he added, “Using Ilya.”

“Of course you couldn’t have that, your baby sister in danger,” Rin drawled as she delicately bit into a piece of slathered toast.

Shirou blushed and replied, “Well, technically, she’s not my sister. Dad just adopted me, I wasn’t his real son, but he was Ilya’s real father.”

“And with your father dead, you two have a very close connection,” Rin replied thoughtfully.

Shirou looked at Rin and stated, “I’d do anything to keep Ilya safe.”

“Well, then what happened? Last thing I was taking part in was getting away from Lancer,” Rin prodded before looking down at her hands, “Which killed Archer.”

Shirou looked at her and said, “That wasn’t your fault. If she would have listened to you and not gone after Lancer, she . . .”

“She wanted to go after Lancer because he was a man wielding a very phallic weapon,” Rin snorted.

Shirou’s jaw ticked as he added, “And he made an advance on you.”

“Considering who he was, that’s not surprising. He flirted with anything attractive and female,” Rin replied with a dismissive wave of her hand, “You two just got excited when he turned his Don Juan like attention towards me.”

Shirou pointed to his chest and said, “And he also stabbed me, so I wasn’t going to let you go anywhere near him.”

“But go on, Shirou, the Grail was corrupt . . .” Rin prodded with a tiny smile as she sipped her tea.

Shirou shook his head and continued, “Well, I fought Kotomine and Saber fought Gilgamesh. Then with my last Command Seal, I had her destroy the Grail.”

“Well, that was the right, so of course, the heroic, thing to do,” Rin said dryly.

Shirou’s shoulders slumped as he replied, “But I failed her, Tohsaka.”

“Why? Because she didn’t get her wish?” Rin asked as she tilted her head thoughtfully.

He nodded and rubbed the back of his neck as he answered, “Because she’s going to be stuck in battles until she gets it for the rest of eternity. She’s trapped, Tohsaka, and . . .”

“As much as I cared for Saber, there was nothing you could have done about it,” Rin said sharply as she looked into Shirou’s eyes.

Shirou swallowed as those bright eyes bore into him. Those bright, beautiful eyes framed by that elegant face and that long, black hair. Tohsaka Rin was beautiful and a tad dangerous. The image of her standing alone and witch like with her long hair flying in the night air on the rooftop of the highest point in Shinto was forever burned in his brain.

To support him like this was more than he could have ever asked for.

He looked away and mumbled, “But she just looked so . . . broken, Tohsaka.”

“Well, some wishes aren’t meant to be granted, Shirou,” Rin said honestly as she finished her toast and moved the tray out of her way.

Shirou only nodded as he lifted the tray up. He looked at her and asked, “And how are you?”

“Still sore, but isn’t going to leave a scar, thank God,” Rin said with a tiny smile, “And a little disappointed that I couldn’t win either.”

He gave her a sad smile and said, “I’m sorry about that, Tohsaka.”

“Don’t be, I’m just glad it wasn’t Shinji or Kirei that won,” Rin replied, “And thank you for the breakfast, Shirou.”

Shirou’s smile brightened as he teased, “Just next time, I should ask you how to brew tea properly first.”

“Of course, you know how expensive this stuff is?” Rin replied with a haughty hair toss.

******
“Try it now, Oni-chan,” Ilya said as she sat primly on the bench in the old dojo. Her crimson eyes were focused on Shirou and she had a thoughtful look on her face.

Shirou closed his eyes and flipped on his Magic Switch. He felt the pounding warmth of mana flow through his body as he held out his hand. He closed his eyes and imagined himself standing in front of thousands of priceless swords hovering behind him. All he had to do was reach out and grab one of them.

Just, he had to pick one to grab.

Remember, this is just practice, I don’t need to Trace Durendal or Gram. Something simple will do, he thought as he visualized one sword he liked. It was a nameless katana, chosen simply because Gilgamesh thought it was pretty before cast into the Gate of Babylon.

“Trace On,” he murmered as he felt the blaze through his body and finally his right arm. He felt the flash of heat form at his palm as the hard, cooling handle rested easily in his hand. He opened his eyes and smiled at the perfect, clean lines of the katana in his hand.

Ilya’s eyes lit up as she jumped off the bench and rushed over to him. She laughed as she wrapped her arms around him. Shirou hugged her back and said, “I did it, Ilya, and it really didn’t hurt this time either.”

“Good, then Oni-chan’s getting the hang of this then,” Ilya said with a dazzling smile.

Shirou nodded and studied the sword. He tilted his head and mused, “I wonder why the swords are so easy.”

“Well, Oni-chan managed a spear yesterday,” Ilya said thoughtfully as she let him go.

Shirou shook his head and replied, “Actually, that was a naginata, but that’s close.”

“You really like swords, don’t you, Shirou?” Ilya asked as she swung her feet back and forth and tossed her silvery hair back.

He nodded as he took a practice swing with the blade. It whistled slightly through the air as he began to spin it, more of a sloppy imitation of some of the things he saw Taiga do during one of her kendo meets. He smiled and answered, “Yeah, I always have, don’t know why though.”

“You’re better with a bow, aren’t you?” Ilya mused as she rested her arms on her knees and then rested her head on top.

Shirou felt his cheeks burning just a bit and replied, “At least that’s what I’ve been told.”

“Hah, he was undefeated in the Archery Club, Ilya,” a booming, female voice proclaimed from the dojo entrance. Fujimura Taiga was leaning against the door with a tiny smile on her face. Her cheeks were flushed, her fawn colored hair was ruffled slightly and her gi was slightly askew. She was resting on her bokken with a grin as she entered the room. She walked over and said, “And with Matou missing, we could really use you back, Shirou.”

Shirou asked, “How’s Sakura doing?”

“You couldn’t tell her brother was missing if you looked at her. Poor thing, putting up such a front. So I invited her to dinner tonight,” Taiga answered with a shrug before her eyes locked on the sword. She pointed and asked, “Hey, Shirou, where did you get that?”

His cheeks flushed even more as he answered, “Tohsaka lent it to me, Fuji-nee.”

“I had no idea she was into kendo,” Taiga mused as she sat down beside Ilya.

Shirou looked down as his cheeks practically burned and answered, “Well, she does practice kung-fu.”

“Really? Tohsaka Rin, idol of our school practices kung-fu. Funny, and here I thought she was such a delicate girl,” Taiga snorted.

Ilya placed a hand in front of her mouth and giggled. She looked at Taiga and chortled, “You don’t know Rin very well, Fuji-nee.”

“No one asked you, runt,” Taiga teased with a grin, “So, what about you, midget, you keeping Shirou out of trouble?”

Ilya grinned and replied, “Oni-chan doesn’t get into trouble, Fuji-nee, you know that.”

“Because Shirou’s a good boy, even though he hasn’t rejoined the Archery Club,” Taiga snorted as she glared playfully at Shirou.

Shirou bowed his head and said, “I’m sorry, Fuji-nee, but with all the work I have to do . . .I was left with this big house, but no money.”

“But you’ve got school too, Shirou, you could still be in the club and be able to take the bus to Shinto to your job,” Taiga offered.

Shirou chuckled and asked, “You’ve got this all figured out, don’t you, Fuji-nee?”

“Well, I want my star archer to get off his lazy butt and get back on the team,” Taiga retorted.

Ilya glared and snapped, “Oni-chan is not lazy! You’re greedy and wanting to work him too much. And you mooch off of him and you’re a grown woman.”

He stared at the tiny white haired go as his surrogate big sister did. Ilya scowled as she left the dojo. Shirou looked at Taiga and sighed, “Fuji-nee, I’m sorry . . .”

“I didn’t know you felt this way, Shirou,” Taiga said quietly.

Shirou gave her a nervous smile and replied, “I don’t, but . . . I should go after Ilya.” With that, he ran after his little sister.

******

“So, Ilya said all of this to Fujimura-sensei?” Rin asked as Shirou set the tea tray in front of them.

Shirou sat in front of her as well. He’d been coming the last couple of days to check in on her and to escape the hectic chaos that was becoming his house with Ilya, Fuji-nee, and Sakura practically living there with him. He was looking forward to his daily tea with Tohsaka Rin, and it seemed Rin looked forward to his visits as well, despite her complaints about his tea.

He nodded and answered, “Yeah.”

“From what I’ve learned from you, I think Illyasviel was telling the truth,” Rin said as she took a sip of tea.

Shirou looked down and replied, “I don’t mind, Tohsaka, I’ve always known that Fuji-nee is irresponsible and needy, but I don’t mind taking care of her.”

“Shirou, everyone takes advantage of you. I didn’t ask you to bring me tea, and I’m fully healed. I’ll be back at school tomorrow,” Rin said softly as she looked down at her tea cup.

He studied her as she looked down at her tea, aquamarine eyes downcast, long black hair shielding her pale, beautiful face. He felt his cheeks burn as he replied, “I like coming here, Tohsaka.”

Rin’s head jerked up towards her as their eyes met, amber to aquamarine. They stared into each other’s eyes for countless moments. Shirou’s heart was pounding in his chest as his body seemed to catch on fire as they gazed into the other’s eyes. Her eyes widened as she asked, “Really?”

“Yeah, I mean, you helped me out during the War and it’s kinda my fault you got stabbed, it’s the least I could do, Tohsaka,” he said in a nervous rush before looking down at his tea cup.

Rin’s eyes flashed as she put down her teacup and snapped, “I don’t want you to do this out of pity or your odd sense of responsibility, Shirou.”

Shirou fidgeted for a moment before setting his teacup down. He looked away and mumbled, “I do it because I like seeing you, Tohsaka.”

“Oh,” Rin said awkwardly as she picked up her teacup again.

Shirou blurted out, “And I don’t like to see you alone.”

“I’m a magus,” Rin said, her voice almost an angry hiss, “My life is meant to be a lonely one.”

He looked down and sighed. He apologized, “I didn’t mean to offend you, Tohsaka.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you,” Rin said after a moment as she took another sip of tea. She nodded thoughtfully before her eyes met his again. His heart leapt into his throat as she said, “You’re getting better at this.”

Shirou chuckled, “Well, I don’t want to incur your wrath any more than I have to, Tohsaka.”

“Oh, are you saying I have a bad temper, Emiya-kun?” Rin replied with a tense smile and a chuckle.

Shirou cringed slightly and quickly answered, “Not really and . . . would you like something else with your tea, Tohsaka?”

“Cute of you to change the subject, Shirou,” Rin snickered behind her hand.

Shirou eyed her and scooted back ever so slightly. She smiled and asked, “What else do you have?”

“I could make some sandwiches or something,” Shirou answered with a shrug, “Or I think I have some Taiyaki. I could give you my share.”

“Ah, because you and Illyasviel eat Taiyaki together every day don’t you?” Rin asked stiffly.

Shirou swallowed and said, “Well, I think Ilya can survive one day with me not eating Taiyaki with her.”

Rin stared at him for an endless moment. His heart lodged in his throat again as he looked at her. She then looked at her tea and asked, “Do you have the custard filled one?”

“Yeah, I do, I also have a red bean filled one,” Shirou answered with a tiny smile.

She primly sat up and pushed her hair from her shoulders with a graceful movement. She replied, “I think it would go lovely with the tea then.”

Eleven Months Later


“Take that, oni-chan!”

Shirou wiped icy, white powder from his face before another more pelted him in the shoulder. He bent down to gather snow into his gloves and packed it together as light, girlish laughter hit his ears before another snowball whizzed past his head. He looked up at the grinning, white haired snow fairy dressed in her heavy purple winter coat as she had been when they’d first met. He launched his snowball at Ilya as she squeaked and ducked. The snowball managed to take off her matching pill hat, making her hair swish around her with each movement.

He grinned as he gathered another snowball and asked, “Now, what was that, Ilya?”

“You’re gonna pay for that, oni-chan,” Ilya snapped with white mitten covered hands poised on her hips. Her hair fell forward as she bent to gather another snowball with her tiny hands. Shirou watched her, his weapon poised at the ready as Ilya crafted hers. She spun up to her feet and launched her icy missile as Shirou tossed his.

They ducked out of the way and she ran at him, small arms wrapping around him to tackle him into the snow. Laughter bubbled up from Shirou’s chest, up his throat and finally out of his mouth as they rolled together in the snow. He lay on his back on the chilly whiteness as he held Ilya easily up from him. She giggled girlishly as she shook snow from her hair and body. Her crimson eyes were closed and her fair cheeks were flushed. She laughed as she braced her hands on his shoulders.

He smiled up at her as he sat up and set her down standing on the snow. She threw out her hands and spun in a circle before throwing her arms around him. He laughed as he held her close and stroked her hair. She shook herself free and said, “Okay, oni-chan, I’m getting cold.”

“Well, we could go in and have some tea,” Shirou said with a grin, “That’ll warm you up.”

Ilya grinned and asked, “What about hot chocolate? We never drink it here.”

“I . . . I don’t have the stuff to make hot chocolate,” Shirou said with a tiny frown.

Ilya rolled her eyes and said, “Then we should go to the market and get some, silly.”

“Well, it’s snowing kinda hard,” Shirou mused with faux concern as he looked at the snow that was still coming down, “I don’t know, Ilya.”

Ilya shoved at him and said, “Come on, we need to make a big, hot dinner too tonight or Taiga’s going to pout, and aren’t Rin and Sakura going to be here tonight too?”

Shirou found himself grinning at the mention of his girlfriend and her sister’s name. “I’ll cook something Chinese to show Tohsaka tonight,” he said thoughtfully, “So she can stop teasing me about it.”

The two of them headed inside together as Ilya asked, “What are you going to do when she goes to London?”

Shirou’s smile melted off of his face as Ilya’s words sank in. He took off his coat and then knelt down to help Ilya’s off as well. Lately, she’d been having trouble with her motor skills, nothing major, but enough that he’d help her ever so often with little things like buttons. He bit his lip and answered, “I don’t know, Ilya. We really haven’t talked that out yet.”

“Mmhmmm, you only have a few months left,” Ilya said in her sing-song voice as she took off her boots.

Shirou nodded quietly as his heart twisted in his chest. The thought of Rin leaving for London sent daggers through his chest. He wasn’t adapt enough to travel as her apprentice; he knew that all too well. The only thing he could do was make swords and even that was too much for him most of the time. He watched as Ilya trotted off to her room to put on something warm and dry as he headed to his own room.

He changed into heavy pants and a sweater more suited for walking to town than a quick jaunt in the freshly fallen snow with Ilya. He walked back to the living room to see Ilya similarly dressed with her heavy boots on as well. They put their spare coats on and headed towards the market place.

The heavy storm had kept a lot of shoppers at bay and it was almost a ghost town as he and Ilya gathered things for dinner and for hot chocolate. They stopped at a Taiyaki dealer and bought Ilya one to snack on now and some more to share during their snack. Taiga often accused him of spoiling the girl, but knowing what he did about her family and his father he thought she deserved it. Soon, the shopping was over and they were returning home.

Ilya was sitting at the table as Shirou followed the label to brew the hot chocolate. He frowned and offered, “Okay, Ilya, I don’t know how good this is going to be . . .”

“I’m sure it’ll be good if oni-chan makes it,” Ilya said brightly as she wiggled a little in her chair.

Shirou smiled as he put her Taiyaki in front of her and sat down across from her. They ate and drank quietly; the only sound was the wind whistling against the window panes. Ilya smiled brightly through it all as she made approving nods with each bite of food and drink. Shirou smiled as he sat his mug down and watched her. After she was finished she pushed her plate and cup to him and smiled at him.

She yawned, throwing her arms to stretch and asked, “Oni-chan, I’m kinda beat . . .”

“Go lay down until dinner, Ilya, I’ll have Sakura wake you up,” Shirou said with a smile.

Ilya rubbed her eyes and yawned again. She replied, “Okay, thanks, oni-chan.”

******
It was uncommonly warm for February, school had closed early due to memorial for the students crippled last year due to Rider and Shinji. He’d been able to stop any true deaths, but there were those who were having to undergo extensive plastic surgery to repair their melted skin as well as those who couldn’t move due to extensive nerve damage. Rin had told him he had done everything he could, Saber had been proud that no lives had been lost, however, he wondered about those people and their families.

Just like the orphans in Kotomine’s basement, he thought with a shudder as that memory made its way into his mind. He could just see them now; the shriveled corpses with their gaping mouths as they made tiny whistling sounds as they pleaded for death. It was a fate he would have shared if not for his father pulling him out of the fire and planting Avalon in his body.

His dark thoughts had been plaguing him quite a bit lately as the anniversary of the Grail War loomed ahead. Ilya’d been sort of lethargic yet, not enough to cause alarm in Rin, but he was worried. Plus, Rin was going to leave in a few months, leaving him alone. They were openly dating now, not bothering to really hide their relationship at school, and his heart picked up every time he picked up the scent of roses that was Rin.

He had no idea how much time had past until a pair of ruby eyes were blinking up at him owlishly before Ilya smiled at him. “Hi, oni-chan,” she said before she wrapped her arms around his waist.

“Hey, Ilya,” Shirou replied as he returned the hug, “You wanna get something to eat? It’s a pretty day.”

“Yeah, oni-chan, lets head to the market! Oh, if it’s okay, can we go to the park?” Ilya asked hopefully as she took Shirou’s hand.

Shirou studied her, frowning at the slight flush on her cheeks and the brightness of her eyes. He bent towards her and asked, “You sure you feel up to it, Ilya? You’ve been awful tired lately.”

“I’m feeling really good today, oni-chan, I promise,” Ilya chirped as she clung to his arm while
swinging it lightly.

He laughed at her enthusiasm and said, “Okay then, Ilya, let’s go then.”

After traveling to the market and purchasing two red bean Taiyaki, one hot chocolate, and one hot coffee drink. They walked together as they ate and sipped. Occasionally, Ilya would stop and look at something in wonder before turning back to Shirou with a bright, infectious grin. Shirou laughed at her even more carefree than normal attitude as they walked to the park together.

Shirou sat down on the park bench as Ilya ran over to the swings. There where other children in the park, but Ilya mostly ignored them as she ran towards the swings. Shirou smiled as she began to swing higher and higher, laughing as she did. Her long, silvery hair was lit by the sunlight as she threw her head back as she headed back towards the ground.

He sipped his coffee and nibbled on the fish shaped confection as Ilya played. He watched as she jumped from the swings to climb on the monkey bars. She even took a few spins on the merry-go-round before starting to head back to Shirou. He stood up to meet her when she stopped.

Her crimson eyes widened as she looked at him. Her breath caught as she swayed back and forth on her feet. Shirou ran to her right as her knees gave out. He caught her and cradled her close. Ilya’s crimson eyes met his as her hands tightened in his jacket. He stared at her and she smiled sadly.

“Can I ride piggy-back home?” she asked sweetly in a weak voice.

Shirou peered at her and asked, “Ilya, what’s wrong?” He put her hand on her forehead. Despite the redness of her normally fair cheeks, the skin under his hand was like ice. His heart was pounding as she looked up at him. That sad smile was still etched on her fey features and his heart twisted within his chest.

“Can you just take me home, oni-chan?” she asked quietly.

Shirou bit his lip, nodded and bent so he could gather her slight weight on his back. Her arms wrapped around him as her legs were hooked around his sides. He stood up to his full height as he began the trudge home.

******

Shirou’s hand shook as he stared at the hank of silver white hair trailing from his palm. His eyes widened as he looked down at the bald spot on Ilya’s head as she opened her eyes to face him. Her skin was peeling, her lips were cracked, as if she was turning into paper before their eyes. Just the hair was new and terrifying. He lowered his hand with the hank of hair trailing from it as Ilya stared up at him.

“Ilya, what’s wrong, tell us and I can help you. We can help you,” Shirou asked as he knelt by her side.

Ilya smiled and took his hand. Her skin was so cold against his, and she was so damned pale. Her hand felt so fragile within his and he was afraid to even hold it. She said, “It’s been a good year, hasn’t it, oni-chan?”

“What do you mean, Ilya?” Shirou asked quietly as he stared down at her, making no move to touch her.

“Because she’s dying, Shirou,” Rin’s voice said quietly from the doorway.

Shirou hissed, “No she’s not. You keep looking Tohsaka, you keep looking for a way to . . .”

“She’s right oni-chan. There’s no way to save me. I have a year after the war, and that’s it,” Ilya said as she looked up at Shirou with ruby eyes.

“I’m . . . I’m not going to accept that,” Shirou said with a tiny hiss.

Ilya looked over his shoulder and said, “Rin, your boyfriend’s pretty stupid.”

“It’s part of his charm, Ilya,” Rin said sadly as she walked over to sit beside Shirou. Shirou found himself leaning against her and her hand gently stroking the back of his head. She was warm against him, the scent of roses and tea filling his nostrils. He took her free hand and held it tight.

Shirou quietly asked, “Is there anything we can do?”

Rin shook her head and answered, “No, what her family did . . . she’s not like us Shirou she’s . . .”

“I was made to be the Grail, oni-chan. I wasn’t meant to live a normal lifespan,” Ilya said with a tiny tilt of her head, smiling despite whatever was ravaging her body, “But I had fun while it lasted, oni-chan.”

******
“Thank you oni-chan. Thank you for showing me what a family was.”

“So, when does your plane leave, Shirou?”

Shirou turned to see the violet eyed hair and girl at the doorway. He looked up from his duffel bag to walk over to Sakura. Her head was bowed, her now long hair obscuring her face. She bit her lip before looking back up at him. He wasn’t sure when he was able to tower over the other girl, but he did so with ease now.

He answered, “In about three hours, I’m getting the last things ready.”

“Where are you going, Sempai?” she asked softly as she tucked the lock of hair tied back with the ever present pink ribbon back behind her ear. Her pale pink skirt whispered softly around her ankles as she moved closer to him. Her amethyst eyes were wide and earnest as she looked up at him.

He bowed his head and answered, “China. It’s a small conflict, and a good place to get my feet wet and save as many people as I can, Sakura.”

“Why? No one asked you too. Why aren’t you in London with nee-san? Or here with me?” she demanded, her tone growing strength as she glared up at him.

Shirou shoved a pair of jeans into the bag before touching the brilliant ruby pendent under his shirt. He bowed his head and answered, “I’m meeting Tohsaka in London in a few months. She knows how important this is to me Sakura, that I need to do this.”

“I don’t understand,” she said as he zipped up his bag. He threw it over his shoulder and gave her a sad smile. Her wide eyes looked up at him as he walked past her.

He chuckled dryly and replied, “Sakura, I don’t think anyone else is going to either.”

******
Shirou’s now empty hands were shaking, the tremors going up his arm and own the rest of his body in time of his pounding heart. His sweaty skin was streaked with blood. So much blood, all over his hands, his chest and it had even sprayed across his face. He hadn’t expected that much blood, and he was now covered in it, as if he had slaughtered something.

Looking down at the soldier’s still face and the gape in his throat that Shirou had cut open, the young man figured he had slaughtered the soldier. His body was still trembling as he heard the call behind him. He turned around to see the family standing there from the old grandpa to the little boy with skinned knees standing behind him. Behind them fires and gunshots raged, the death toll rising even more.

Shirou held out his hand and whispered his familiar spell before the sword appeared in his hand. His body became numb for a moment but he forced the issue out of his mind. He looked at the family and said,
“Run away.” Then he ran back into the fires to put them out.

******
Traveling all of these months had given Shirou a rudimentary knowledge of Chinese and Korean, but his English was still piss poor, despite Fuji-nee. It had taken him three tries to tell the cabby the address of the flat Rin was staying at. However, when they pulled up to the building and after Shirou paid the driver, it was worth it.

His heart was pounding despite the exhaustion weighing down his limbs. He walked into the building and to the door with Rin’s number on it. He knocked on it and waited. He set down his bag and rubbed the back of his neck. He knocked again and again, but there was still no answer. He sighed and rested his hand on the door.

“Shirou?”

Shirou spun around at the familiar voice behind him. Aquamarine eyes blinked up at him before he swept Tohsaka Rin into his arms and held her close. He buried his face into her hair and took a deep breath. Rin tensed for a moment before relaxing and holding him close. One of her elegant hands ran own his back as she looked up at him.

She blinked and asked, “Shirou, what . . .?” Her voice drew off as she reached up and touched his hair. She frowned as she fingered one short lock of his hair and he looked up to see where she was touching him.

Amidst the mop of red, there was one lock of pure, snow white.

******
He screamed in agony as his body caught fire from within. He saw the sword for an instant, right where he needed it, but it vanished. He reached out weakly for it as his body burned. The screams were getting louder and louder. There was too much riding on this.

They’d counted on him.

And he was failing them.

Emiya Shirou did the only thing he could think of.

He made a bargain, a Faustian pact to reap the benefits now.

Just for the lives of a scant hundred or so people.

Once the deal was made with the World, he worked like a man possessed. He crafted a miracle with his two hands and the swords within him. He worked faster and harder, pushing his newly enhanced body to its limits. “I am the bone of my sword . . .” the words came easily from his lips, a beautiful spell being woven as he created his own world to his making.

At the end of it he stood, body burned from within but he could stand it now. The hundred scurrying away, fearful eyes glancing at him as if he was some oddity. He felt a hand clasp his back and a voice ask, “Why the hell did you do that, kid?”

And Emiya Shirou just smiled and shrugged, not bothering to justify his actions.

After all, these people wouldn’t understand the selfless purity of his ideal. They wouldn’t understand the sacrifice he’d just made, and would willingly make again because it meant he could help people after death. It was all worth it. Just it wasn’t something he could put into words to anyone, so instead he just smiled as he was asked before walking away.

******

“What, did you just fry all of your magic circuits and your left side is numb?” Rin snapped as she poked his bare body. Shirou flinched at the oddness of her touch against the numbness. “And your hair? What the hell did you do, Shirou, tell me?”

Shirou closed his eyes and swallowed, “I had to, Tohsaka.”

“Had to what, Shirou? I swear, you’re such a moron sometimes,” she huffed as she held a pink jewel in her hand as she pressed it against his skin. He gasped as warmth spread through his body and sensation was regained in his side. He looked at her and lowered his eyes. She jerked his face up and asked, “What the hell did you do Shirou? I’ll be pissed if you don’t tell me.”

“I made a deal with the world, Tohsaka,” he confessed quietly.

She stopped and lowered her hands to her sides as she moved to sit in front of him. Her wide eyes met his as she asked, “You didn’t, right?” Her voice caught on the words as she looked at him.

He bowed his head and nodded to her. He answered, “Yeah, Tohsaka, I did.”

“Oh, God, Shirou, you fool,” she sighed as she rested her forehead against his and pulled him close. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. She started the kiss, her mouth moving gently against his. He returned the kiss in kind as they opened themselves to the other.

He’d kissed Rin hundreds of times in different ways, but they’d never taken that last step. However they melded together that night. It was clumsy, a bit awkward, tears and blood were shed, but they clung to the other the entire night. Rin gave reassurance and Shirou took it greedily, allowing himself this moment, with her, this impossible girl he had fallen in love with.

When it was over he held her close and stroked her hair. She dozed lightly on his chest with her arms wrapped tightly around him. He kissed the sweaty patch of her forehead before confessing to her, “I love you Rin.”

******
His hands weren’t trembling. He was calm, steady and disturbingly serene. One person to save ten. The decision was almost easy. The blade went own. A head rolled, there was some blood, but he’d gotten better at avoiding sprays of it.

Ten for a hundred.

A hundred for a thousand.

A thousand for a million and so on and so on down the line.

All he could do is preserve the many against the few. He had wanted to save everyone, but he realized he couldn’t. He had to kill to save more people so he became quite good at it. Just, he hadn’t realized when he’d stopped wearing white and blue and started dressing in black.

His existence had became so bleak that his only comfort was his wife and a ruby pendent that had been in her family for years that he hadn’t had the heart to return to her. He wore it under his shirt and took it out when he was far away from her to gaze at it.

He’d been gazing wistfully at it when he’d been surrounded. He tucked it back into his shirt and surrendered with ease. He had no idea why he was being brought in, but he recognized the person who was testifying against him on the stand. The one bringing him up for things he didn’t do.

Emiya Shirou wasn’t a wanton killer.

He was a killer now, yes, but not out of sheer desire save to save more people.

He didn’t commit gratuitous acts of violence.

Yet they were going to bring him to the gallows.

. . . Rin. Rin. I love you, he thought as he clinched the pendent with one hand as the sword fell out of the other.

******
Tohsaka Rin woke up covered in sweat and her heart pounding. She got up and ran to her jewelry box and pulled out the familiar pendent. She held it to her heart as the dream played trough her mind until the dawn.